Craving the Supernatural

This is so cool! Camy Tang gave me this award. She’s so sweet!

It is presented "to awesome BLOG owners who keep their readers excited about their posts. Their blog posts are interesting (NOT spammy) and worth reading and keep their subscribers looking forward to each and every post."

Camy said that she awarded my blog because: "she is always so transparent on her blog posts."

THANKS, CAMY! I try to be transparent. it's all part of that whole "more of God, less of me" thing I'm doing here. :-D

I'm awarding (and I'm trying to be diverse this time LOL):

Lisa Harris - I love reading her posts about missionary life in South Africa. Although, right now, she and her family are packign up and moving to Brazil for a year's worth of language school. Praying for you, girl!

Um, that's it for now...I can't think at this early hour and I have to get to work. :-D Maybe I'll come back and add more later. hehe
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Writing...I am very excited! Last night, I wrote the final chapters on Dead Reckoning, my newest spy thriller. I'm not 100% satisfied with my epilogue, so I'm going to go back and probably rewrite that. And there's one aspect of the final climax that I want to tighten, but overall, I'm very pleased. Shiloh (my heroine) comes across strong. Reece (the hero) is just as I expected him to be. And of course, they save the day (though not everyone comes out of this alive...LOL). I think it came out surprisingly well. My toughest critic will be my agent, Steve Laube. I'd rewritten my ending on my other thriller, Midnight Zone, and then rewrote it for an editor, and Steve busted me on it. He knew it wasn't the right ending.

I've discovered, however, that there is a new word in my writing dictionary. It's conclusophobia: the fear of writing climatic endings. It's not so much about having a climatic ending, but more the fear that the ending won't be...well, climatic. :-D How's that for insanity. Conclusophobia hits me every time I start to write the final three chapters on a new book. And this has happened dozens of times, so you'd think I'd have faced this fear and beaten it by now. Nope! LOL

Camy Tang & Patricia Carroll (PacJac) tagged me! I am supposed to tell where I was 10-20-30 years ago.

• 10—1997...Hmm, I was well into the first draft of my futuristic, Liberty's Son. My mom had died the previous year. I had two children. Live in Fort Worth and we were small home group leaders for our church.
• 20—I was in my senior year at Killeen High School. This is the point in my life where I was starting to find myself...Had an amazing English Teacher who impacted my life in a HUGE way. (Love you, Mrs. Montgomery!)
• 30—I was seven years old. Beginning to realize that what was happening to me was *wrong* (I was abused). Lived in Massachusetts...or were we still in Germany at that point? I can't remember. I honestly don't remember much of my young childhood because of the abuse.

I tag Sara, Lisa Harris, Shannon McNear, and the Lena Dooley. It was started by Mary DeMuth, so blame her. :)

Well, it took me nearly all week to recuperate from the conference. I am finally feeling like a human being again. I'm rested, focused, and very passionate about writing for God's glory.















A lot happened at this conference. I'll have more pictures to share soon (yeah, I know...I'm ancient because I used an 'old fashioned' camera where you had to actually look through the teensy square box to take the photo, and now I have to actually get the film developed--GASP!), but just had to post this one taken by Ane Mulligan during the Keynote Luncheon in Robin Caroll's Presidential Suite--and yes, it was SWEET! It's me, Dineen Miller, and Camy Tang.


At conference, God supernaturally freed me from the most oppressive spirit I've encountered in my life. I'm not kidding, y'all. I was utterly bereft. Felt totally hopeless and LOST. What shocked me was how many people noticed the difference in me. I mean, sure, I knew I wasn't myself--but HOLY COW, MAN! Even my fabulous, amazing agent STEVE LAUBE said he could see it. Regardless of the past, I'm free now. I'm so determined not to slide back into that pit. I bought the Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a woman's Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge because at the heart of my oppression was my horrible lack of self-worth, born partly out of years of childhood abuse I endured.



It will take several posts to get through all of what God did, but I believe that there are many other women out there going through what I suffered. Because I've experienced this oppression and then freedom--and because it was GOD who freed me--wait till you read about the spiritual warfare--I am determined to be a voice and shoulder for those who are in that desert, too.

I am DELIGHTED to bring you my good friend and crit partner CAMY TANG and her hilarious Asian chick-lit book, Sushi for One?, out now from Zondervan. This photo from last year's ACFW conference shows me with the Loud Asian Chick. The girl is absolutely amazing writer, sweet (she'll love me for that one), and a wonderful friend.

Now, on to Camy's interview:

1.) What inspires you to write?

I love writing, but I also rest in the knowledge that this is trulywhat God wants for me to do. He asked me to lay down my writing oncebefore, and then gave me the green light to pick it up again, so Iknow that this writing is something He approves of and desires for me.

2.) You've talked about how you're very much a left-brained person. Since I'm predominantly right brained, I'd love to know how you overcome the left-brain side to get into your creative streak.

Unlike most women, I actually do not shift between left and rightbrain very easily. I have to get myself into a creative mode and staythere for as long as I need to in order to get the writing done.It's usually just a matter of clearing my plate of left brain work sothat I can be in right brain mode for several days or weeks.Coming up with character personalities is right brain for me, and so I'll set aside any kind of editing or logistical work until that'sdone. The plotting is more left brain, so I'll work on plot and sceneindexes while doing other busy-work like edits from my publisher orwork on the ACFW Genesis contest.Then when it comes to writing the manuscript, I try to give myselfseveral weeks in pure right brain mode to get the story written out. Iwon't take critiquing jobs, I won't do any edits, I won't evencritique for my crit partners. I try to completely clear my scheduleso that all I need to focus on is the writing.

3.) What is an indulgence that helps your creative muse?

POTATO CHIPS!!! I also love taro chips and veggie crisps. I know they're super bad for me, but I can't help myself!

4.) I love the flavor infused in your books. Where did you get the inspiration for Lex and the others?

I like using archetypes turned on their heads. I usually use Victoria Lynn Schmidt's 45 Master Characters. As a psychology major in college, I knew that there are certainpersonality types that are repeated in fiction because they resonatepsychologically with readers. That's why I enjoy using archetypes--anarchetype usually enables me to create a richer, deeper characterthat's both consistent and fully drawn.I try my best to avoid stereotypes, so I'll take an archetype and giveit a different sort of twist--an Amazon who has already been strippedvulnerable, a Maiden who has escaped her torturous relationship with aWarlock. I ask myself, what would they do now? And I go from there tocraft their stories.

5.) Who in the industry has had a profound influence on you and your writing?

Gayle Roper. I took her Fiction Mentoring clinic at an ACFW conference, and it was a turning point in my career. She's aphenomenal teacher and a wonderful writer. If any writer has anopportunity to take her Mentoring class, they should do it.

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Thanks, Camy, for this fun interview. Hey, everyone--leave a comment to win a copy of Camy's incredible book. I've read Camy's book and I have to say that the Loud Asian Chick hooks you into the Asian culture in a very cunning and funny way. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, the characters are quirky but real, and the laughs are endless! I found it surprisingly how seamlessly Camy stitched in the cultural elements. She's a phenomenal writer. You've got to get this book!!

Here is the official blurb from Camy's website:

Book #1: Sushi for One? (September2007)Sports-crazy Lex Sakai isn’t too worried about “winning” the unofficial family title “Oldest Single Female Cousin” when her cousin Mariko marries in a few months. Her control-freak grandma is easy to ignore, until Grandma issues an ultimatum—if Lex can’t find a date for Mariko’s wedding, her ruthless Grandma will cut off funding to the girls’ volleyball team that Lex coaches.

Lex isn’t about to look desperate by dating every player in the dugout. She comes up with a stringent list of requirements from her Ephesians Bible study in her search for The Perfect Man. She always wins in volleyball—if she ups her game, she’s sure to succeed.

Then her brother introduces her to non-Christian, non-athletic, no-immediate-physical-appeal Aiden.

Aiden’s on the rebound from a girl named Trish, who dumped him because he wasn't Christian. Then he discovers that Lex is 1) not attracted to him at all, 2) Christian, and 3) Trish's cousin. No way is he hooking up with anyone from that crazy family, much less another hypocritical Christian chick. He's certainly not masochistic.

Time is running out for Lex, and no matter what she does, she can’t find the right guy. Especially when she keeps running into Aiden everywhere. If only the list would stop getting longer and longer...


DON'T FORGET to leave a comment to WIN A COPY of Camy's Sushi for One?, out now from Zondervan.

Hello! Thanks fer stoppin' by me blog. Ye`ve come t' th' starboard place today if ye`re lookin' fer a great read. 'Tis me extreme pleasure t' participate in MaryLu Tyndall`s blog tour fer th' lass' third book, Restitution.

Below is the trailer MaryLu put together for her incredible new book out now from Barbour Publishing!


In this third book, th' treacherous voyage o' Captain Kent Carlton continues as he tries t' prove his heart t'ain't as black as one might think. In this perilous journey, Lady Isabel Ashton must team up wi' th' man who raped th' lass' as they battle t' save the'r baby lad from another captain bent on revenge.

Aye...isn't pirate-ing fun?? Ahem. Seriously, now...

I love MaryLu's stories, and I found this story about Lady Isabel and Captain Kent compelling! Her story concepts are amazing and the conflicts only deepen amid dark waters and bad tempers. I've read all three books in the Legacy of the king's Pirates--and I'd recommend them all. The character's journeys kept me up into the wee hours of the morning, unable to sleep until I knew what happened to Lady Isabel (although at times, I wanted to slap her for being so bull-headed, but alas--that's a character for you...never doing what you want them to do. LOL), the rogue Captain whose heart softened, and the plight of their baby boy. If you haven't tasted of the delicacy that is M.L. Tyndall's writing--then quench your thirst and buy this book! :-D

Here is the official blurb from MaryLu's site:

The Restitution
by M. L. Tyndall
Romantic Times 4 stars!
Shunned by her parents and by society, Lady Isabel Ashton lives a secluded life at Port Royal with her seven month old baby, Frederick--the son of the fierce pirate, Kent Carlton. When her baby is suddenly kidnapped, Captain Carlton appears with an offer to help her find him. Can Isabel trust the man who once ravished her? Will Kent win the forgiveness of the woman he loves? Or will the scheme of betrayal and revenge of his enemies keep them apart and from their son forever?

*sigh* A great read to quiet the stormy seas of life. LOL Sorry, couldn't resist.

Loud Asian Chick & friend extraodinaire, Camy Tang, tagged me with this award.

1. Sara Mills - a French Canadian friend who has surrendered more times than she'll admit, but who has also talked me off the ledge many times in recent months.
2. Cindy Woodsmall - a beautiful woman and writer who has mentored me through rough aspects of this publishing process.
3. Lisa Harris - A dozen elephants all in a row. How can I not love the woman who gives me that?? LOL
4. Lena Dooley - If you've met Lena, you know why I'm listing her here. In a way, she reminds me of my mother, and there is nothing like a "Mama Dooley" hug. can't wait for conference to get one!!!!!
5. Mindy Obenhaus - A woman who gives new and varied meanings to THE FARM. :-D
6. Beth Goddard - A wonderful woman who is very encouraging, has an incredible eye for the minute details of suspense elements, and a true encourager.
7. Shannon McNear - An amazing person with a very philosophical bent who--at times--puts my mind in knots with her deep thoughts. :-D

I've been tagged a few times with this meme, and I'm finally getting to do it.

So, here's the deal: What's in a name?


1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the one you would like to have had.

3. When you're tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.

4. At the end of your blog-post you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to send/leave them a comment telling them they'e tagged and to read your blog for the rules.

I'm somewhat fortunate in that my middle name contains only five letters.

A ~ Aspiring...there are many things that I aspire to do or be. Like get published. Own a home again. Help contribute to our family's income.

L ~ Laughter. I love laughter. Ever notice how it totally changes the whole mood of a room, or how much better you feel after a laugh? God's medicine... :-D

I ~ INQUISITIVE and INSPIRED to write! My inquisitiveness brings inspiration to write.

C ~ Christian. 'Nuff said. :-P

E ~ Encouraging. I hate to see people down or discouraged. When I do, I feel as if a piece of my heart is ripped out. This is one aspect of my personality that I pray only deepens and doesn't go away. Christ had a heart for the hurting...I want to minister His healing grace and mercy the way so many have done to me.

And just a note: I have never liked my middle name except for the small fact that I was named after my paternal grandmother, Alice Elizabeth (Ward) Gray who was (from what I hear--she died the day my older brother was born) an incredible and sweet woman. She immigrated to the US from Montreal. You can see one of her passport photos here. For her, I'm glad I have the name.


And now, I am tagging ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PROCASTINATE AND PLAY. HAVE FUN!!

ACFW CONFERENCE INTERVIEW with "The" Steve Laube.

I am delighted to host an interview with my fabulous agent, Steve Laube. He really gave great consideration in answering questions to help those attending the ACFW Conference in Dallas, September 20-23.

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Tell us a bit about yourself.

I lived the first 14 years of my life in Anchorage, Alaska (survived the famous ’64 earthquake), then went to high school in Honolulu (Hawaii Baptist Academy). My parents felt called to move after 25 years in Alaska. From there, I went to college at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, AZ, where I still live and work.

I have three daughters ages 25, 22, and 19 and have been married for 26 years. I teach an adult Bible study every Sunday. We are currently working our way through the Minor Prophets in chronological order. Once that is complete, we will tackle the chronological history of Israel from King David through the rebuilding of the walls by Nehemiah.

I’m a voracious reader and an enduring sports fan (Go Suns!). Someone asked what I did for a living. I replied, “I read.” They followed with, “Then what do you do for fun?” My answer? “I read.” We have nearly 5,000 books in our home.

Music is an affection as well. I have over 13,000 songs on my computer of all types. Everything from hard rock (I recommend the group “Red”) to classical (I recommend Steven Sharp Nelson’s Sacred Cello). All together I could play music for 36 days (24 hours a day) without repeating a single song.

Our family enjoys a variety of movies. Of course “Star Wars” is the classic. But I never tire of sports movies like “Remember the Titans,” “Rudy,” or “Radio.” My wife cannot understand why I like “Galaxy Quest” so much, but I confess, it makes me laugh (she says I have to watch that one by myself). But we have howled at multiple viewing of “Arsenic and Old Lace” and “Monsters, Inc.” We don’t keep a TV plugged in inside the home, but for Christmas I gave the family the entire DVD collection of “The Dick Van Dyke” show. We have laughed our way through those episodes all year. We have also enjoyed the DVD’s of “The Bob Newhart Show” and “The Dog Whisperer.”

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When I first met you in February 2004, you promoted American Christian Romance Writers (now ACFW)—said if we were serious about writing, we’d join. Why do you feel it’s important for authors to be a part of an organization like this?

Continuing education is critical to the growth of a person and a writer. Tricia Goyer recently wrote on The Writer’s View, “I've attended Mt. Hermon twelve times. I don't have a college degree. Instead I was trained by the amazing teachers and editors there.”

The friendships and networking of an organization like ACFW are for a lifetime. The editor you meet today may become your acquisitions editor of tomorrow. The author today may be the endorsement of tomorrow. Too often we try to quantify these events in dollars and cents. And don't forget the spiritual charge from hearing great speakers and the learning from attending great classes. But one of the greatest benefits is the camaraderie with fellow dysfunctional writers, editors, and agents.

I have dozens of friendships that go beyond the business that started within the business. For a professional defined by isolation, the fellowship of other writers is critical to ones sanity.
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How long have you been a part of ACFW?

Since I became an agent in 2003.
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Obviously you travel the country, attending and working at many conferences. What sets the ACFW conference apart from others?

The fiction-centric aspect of the conference is wonderfully unique. It allows the classes to go deeper than ever in their content. And I truly admire their effort to have material for the beginner as well as the advanced writer.
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What is your favorite part of the ACFW conference?

Talking with old friends and making new ones. We are a part of a tremendous ministry of changing people’s lives through the power of story. To be surrounded by amazingly creative people blesses me beyond measure.

It is also fun to connect with clients and possibly discover that new talent.
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One thing I really appreciate about you is how you make yourself available, sitting in the hotel lobby chatting (casually, not for pitches) with authors—like the time my crit bud Dineen Miller had her drug-laced fudge and Brandilyn Collins couldn’t resist them, but you did (at least after your what, fifth piece?). What is one of your fondest memories from attending one of ACFW’s national conferences?

Hey. I only ate one piece. I realized very quickly that I could suffer severe bodily harm if I tried to eat any more because Brandilyn’s eyes had fire in them.

ACFW memories?
Doing the night owl on author/agent relations with Tracey Bateman. Completely unrehearsed we had a full room of folks who laughed with our antics.
Late night laughter and camaraderie each year.
Heart to heart conversation with a client who was so relieved when we agreed to take her story in a new direction that her tears were ones of joy.
A serendipitous conversation with Andy from Zondervan that turned in a contract for a first time author.
Connecting officially with Cindy Woodsmall at the conference as author/agent. We had talked before and I loved her manuscript (now published as When the Heart Cries), but we needed the face-to-face to make it official.
I could go on and on. And have left out too many friends, editors, and authors in this trip down memory lane (no offense!). But you can see the variety and diversity of the experience, which is my point. Everyone who attends the conference can make it something special. Don’t be afraid to hang out with the “guys and gals.” It is never an exercise of “cliques-are-us.”

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At the conference, you take appointments regularly. What are you looking for in a new author? Is there an element in a pitch that you look for?

This a VERY difficult question. Fiction is the most subjective reading experience of any sort. So even if I like the pitch, I may not like the writing. And sometimes the pitch is weak, but the writing is great. And what gets me excited may make another agent’s eyes glaze over.
In the pitch, I’m looking at the person as much as the writing. It is the connection made with their personality and their passion and their overall presentation of themselves. That is as much a part of the pitch as the actual words in the manuscript. It is one of the reasons why agents and editors go to a conference…to see firsthand that “snap” or “spark” which makes that person stand out. Hopefully, the execution of the writing delivers as well.
Understand that I’m not saying that someone has to have a “bigger-than-life” personality. That would be a fairly shallow view. Instead, it is reading the person behind the page. It is hard to explain and impossible to teach to someone else. But those of us on this side of the table know what I mean. The successful agents and editors have the ability to pick those few from the crowd..
So, please understand I’m not talking about a song and dance routine. But instead I’m talking of the internal fire, that God-given spark, that says, “Steve? Pay attention.”

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Is there a particular genre you are wanting to add to your current list?

We already cover all major genres with the wonderfully diverse clients we represent.

An author did recently write and say, “I’m starting my teen/time travel/Muhammad book.” While he was joking, I suppose that would be a new genre for our agency!!!

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It’s been said that some editors and agents request everything pitched to them at conference. What is your take on this, and how often do you make requests?

There can be the problem of the "false positive" at a conference - by "false positive" I mean the "Send it to me" from the editor/agent only to get a stock rejection letter. It is a problem of which there is no real solution. Editors/Agents cannot fully evaluate a project in a 15-minute meeting or over a group dinner table. Back in the office they can weigh your project against the others they are considering. But at least you are being considered! If you had not gone to the conference you would not have had that chance. I can name numerous times in my past where I contracted someone after reading the proposal in the office. Of course, the majority receive the "no thank you" letter. Just because the faculty member says, "send it" doesn't carry with it a guarantee of a sale.

It is especially difficult with fiction because the reading is more of an experience than an evaluation. I’m not afraid to say, “This needs work” to any writer and many of you reading this interview have heard those words from me. But at the same time, our agency’s door is always open. We are always in the hunt for the “next best.” I can’t know if that is the “next” unless I get it reviewed and read it myself in a different context outside the conference.

Usually I say to the new writer, “take what you learn at this conference and apply it to this proposal. Then after another round of hard work, send it….but know that our agency received nearly 1,500 proposals last year, and we only took six new writers.”

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Have you ever signed an author after meeting with them at conference (besides me LOL)?

Many times. Both as an agent and back when I was an editor at Bethany House. It does happen. I could safely say that every editor or agent would agree that if they find one (only one) new talent from a conference it is considered a success. I’ve had many times where nothing specific came out of that conference, but years later it bore fruit. For example, Paul Robertson attended a conference where I spoke in the late 90s. He said he sent something afterwards that I rejected. Eight years later, he sent me a proposal that is now a published book (The Heir) with Bethany House. So while I didn’t necessarily see anything at the time, it had results nearly 10 years later.

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What advice would you give to beginner writers about attending this conference?

Go into it with realistic expectations. The biggest mistake is thinking that it is the guaranteed method for getting a book contract. Modify those expectations. Instead see it as a learning experience and a place to listen and absorb the sights and sounds around you. Jack Cavanaugh went to writers conferences for 10 YEARS before selling his first novel.

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Any parting words?

I consider it a privilege to be a small part of this wonderful industry. We are tasked to help spread the good news to a world that doesn’t read. Incredible isn’t it? Our insecurities, our frustrations, our successes (or lack thereof), are all part of the larger movement of souls who find rest in God and His salvation through the vehicle of our stories.
In the 2007 Christy banquet, keynote Laura Winner said that the Mitford novels showed her that faith could be worked out in daily life. That experience, through the pages of a novel, set her on the path to Faith. What could top that?

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THANK YOU, STEVE, for taking the time to share your thoughts and advice on this conference. I look forward to seeing you in Dallas in six weeks.

So, there it is, folks! Rush on over to ACFW and register for the conference, if you haven't already!!

Yep, it's true. Michelle P won my copy of Remembered by Tamera Alexander. Michelle, email me with your snail mail address, and I'll get this book out to you!!

And yes - my commonality with the heroine is that my birthname is Veronica. (Even if Neen and Mindy say I dont' look like a Veronica). LOL I loved reading about Veronique and wishing I could hear my name said in French. :-D

The rest of you--sprint to your nearest bookstore and snag a copy of this great book!!

Writing buddy Robin Miller tagged me with this writing-related meme:

1.) What's the one book or writing project you haven't yet written but still hope to?
The final book to my space opera. Or perhaps the sequel to my espionage thriller where they get to stop the neural-toxin release and save their daughter. :-D Then there's me trying to figure out how to do a Lara Croft-style book. :-D Insane, eh?

2.) If you had one entire day in which to do nothing but read, what book would you start with?
The book I got for Mother's Day and haven't had time to dive into yet: Children of Hurin by Tolkien.

3.) What was your first writing "instrument" (besides pen and paper)?
A word processor with pop-out disks that went out of production before I could finish the first draft. LOL Sad, eh?

4.) What's your best guess as to how many books you read in a month?
Dunno. Varies by the month. If I'm heavy into writing toward a deadline, I might not read more than two. No deadline? Possibly six or more.

5.) What's your favorite writing "machine" you've ever owned?
I guess my laptop. A Christmas present while finishing my psychology degree, my laptop is awesome!

6.) Think historical fiction: what's your favorite time period in which to read?
I like most all historicals and this flavor seeps into my space operas.

7.)What's the one book you remember most clearly from your youth (childhood or teens)?
Search for Fierra by Stephen Lawhead. That and Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness.

Learn from the masters? You’ve heard it said just as much as I have. But how many times does it happen that you go to read something from an author you consider to be a “master,” and you end up disappointed—either with a cheesy storyline or horrible craft?? I’ve been disappointed many times.

Well, let me say—that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the case with Tamera Alexander. If you’re looking for a good read with nearly flawless craft, this is one author you can trust. I’ve seen Tammy’s books everywhere (and loved all the covers!), so I was delighted to get the chance to review REMEMBERED.

REMEMBERED tugged me right in—don’t shoot me, but I totally love historicals. Especially the fact that Véronique started out in her beloved Paris. Her haughtiness played in perfectly throughout the whole story. As I dug into the story, I started to get a bit wary of where **I** thought the story was headed. It seemed to be taking a path I just knew wouldn’t end well for Véronique. And that angered me. Boy, was I ever so glad to be wrong! Tammy took a special twist on an overdone story element, and surprised me—so much that I actually teared up. :-D

REMEMBERED was such a great read, that I’m not going to keep my copy (I can’t believe I’m doing this!!). I will give away this copy in a drawing to be chosen on my husband’s birthday, the 27^th.

So, drop a note (either here or on Shoutlife) and let me know you want to be included—oh, and there’s something else—I have something in common with the heroine in REMEMBERED. If you can guess, you get TWO entries. :-D

I've been nominated by awesome friend and crit partner, Robin Miller, for the Rockin' Girl Blogger Award. As a recipient, I get to award it to my favorite bloggers as well. Oh, man...this is tough. : -D Okay, I hereby nominate the following:

SARA MILLS
TRICIA GOYER
LISA HARRIS
CINDY WOODSMALL (Enter her quilt contest, and tell her I sent you!)
MARYLU TYNDALL
SHANNON MCNEAR

First, a glimpse of what I have...













I have a lot, don't I? As Brian's late Grandma Kendig would've said--we're rich. I'd have to absolutely agree! God has far surpassed all I could've hoped for or dreamed of in my family--an amazing husband who really is as awesome and hunky as many fiction characters--but really, he's better because he's real. And mine. :-D My kids...wow, how much time do you have? The girls are sweet as pie (really they are...most of the time), and the twins blow my mind with their personality and intellect. The picture of the office? Well, that's been my dream to have an office. This house we're renting from Brian's parents has been a tremendous blessing.

So. You're sitting there, trying to figure out the connection between the post title and what I've shared so far. Kinda hard to find, isn't it? I admittedly feel a bit ashamed at what I'm about to share. But, here goes...

As you know from earlier posts where I talked about the anger and frustration of our situation, I'm struggling with our situation in a really big way. I love being here for one reason--okay, two--I know without a doubt that God wants us here, and we get to visit with Brian's parents. But honestly, I don't like this area. The schools have given us tons of problems, and Brian's job isn't earning us enough to live on. Honestly, it feels like we're in the middle of a desert with no direction in sight. We moved here on a leap of faith, believing God wanted us here as a step to the FBI. There are days I am absolutely bereft. We don't know how this FBI "thing" will end up. We both believe STRONGLY that the final chapter isn't written on that story. But to believe in the face of obvious rejection...to believe opposite of what the "world" says is beyond hard.

So, I sat here the other day feeling very sorry for myself (insert somber music, like Enya). I tossed my head back, all mournful and melancholy, and moaned, "I don't want to be a grumbling Israelite, Lord, but..."

STOMP!!

I straightened, a sickening knot in my stomach clenching as I thought, I already am.

Well, naturally, my creative genius kicked into high gear. No, no, that can't be. I'm praying--believing. Praying a lot. ACFW prayer partner are pryaing, too. I'm keeping my chin up, most days. Besides, didn't those Israelites know where they were going?? So they had it easier...

NOPE.

All they knew is that they were headed for the PROMISED LAND.

YIKES.

That's all I know, too. That God has promised (called us out in a church that doesn't normally do prophesying and pronounced over us) that we would have a mantle of success; that the tide (of our misfortune--foreclosure, three job layoffs, and three moves in two years--was turning.

So, though my toes are still aching, I am convicted. Of course, God wanted to make sure I got the point, so the Sunday School lesson the next morning was on the grumbling Israelites and finishing the race set before us.

We are such a self-centered species. He has already given us so very much. Often, our blessings are in forms we do not expect. We need his perspective. An eternal perspective.

I have no further hints as to what is to come in my life. And I may never get another ounce of encouragement between here and the border to the promised "land," but I will not yield, I will not grumble anymore.

So, how about you? Is there a "promise land" that you're aiming for that seems completely out of reach? Sick of the "manna" God has given you? Tough to swallow? :-D

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Check out Robin's awesome cover for her FABULOUS book, Bayou Justice. I've hyperlinked the book to Amazon so you can preorder your copy NOW!! :-D Yay, Robin!!!

After Karen's book and blogging about it, I'm still here. Still dealing with my anger...I should probably say "working through" it since dealing with seems to imply stagnation. "Working through" is exactly what I'm doing. Digging deep, wondering what's at the source. Karen was so right in calling it an "insidious sin." It eats at the very fabric of our lives, tearing relationships apart, rendering us useless...

What I'm unearthing is some kind of ugly. :-DLoaded with self. I realized the other night that I'm desperately seeking Ronie...validation of Ronie. So, I prayed and asked God to help me be completely satisifed with HIS validation--that I'm his daughter, that He has completely accepted me. No matter what else--if anything--I do. I'm already accepted. He already loves me. Sweet!

In church on Sunday, the gist of the Sunday school message was: What if God's purpose for [insert whatever you're going through], is greater than you? Can you still embrace God's purpose even though it might not mean the answer you want? If what you had your heart set on, the road you paved--is backhoed.

YEEE-OUCH!! My toes aren't merely bandaged...they're in a cast. LOL With all the things in my life that seem to be crushed or stunted dreams (a major source of my anger), that was an especially painful question. I've been thinking and praying, seeking God, asking Him to let the Holy Spirit teach me how to embrace His purpose. I mean...come on--it's as painful as hugging a porcupine!!

Well, this morning, I woke up in a bad mood (man, that was really hard to admit LOL). So, I read the Word, and a song kept rolling through my mind. It's from the band ECHOING ANGELS, and it's their title cut: YOU ALONE. ((If you check out their site (see link above), you'll get to HEAR THE SONG.)) Sadly, I only got this album last week, so I didn't know all the words. So, after reading, I stuffed my headphones on, closed my eyes, and worshiped--all the while listening to the lyrics. Check them out:

You Alone

Chris Peevy and Scotty Wilbanks

Desperately wanting to just find a way
Searching and seeking for someone to say
That its alright and its ok
Like I know you can

That its alright and its ok
Like I know you can

You alone are God
I am yours and you are mine
And I know the heavens will call out your name
If I don't

I close my eyes
And I drift away
To a place I remember
To a place I feel safe
Where its alright and its ok
Cause I'm there in your arms

Where its alright and its ok
Cause I'm there in your arms

You alone are God
I am yours and you are mine
And I know the heavens will call out your name (repeat)

Bridge
You forgive me You accept me Just as I am And you love me And you want me To understand

Chorus

© 2006 Two Bare Feet Music (adm by Integrated Copyright Copyright Group)/ASCAP and Johnny Ridgecrest Publishing/ASCAP

Seventeen years ago I married my best friend. And waddya know?? He hasn't figured out I got the good end of the deal. LOL Just had to celebrate since the poor guy is having to work ALL DAY and I won't see him until close to midnight. *sigh*

Here's a couple of photos of me and my hunk from Sunday night when we went out to a movie to celebrate.

He's my hero. My hunk. My prince. My strength (next to God of course). My lover. My best friend. My Brian. *sigh*

It's been a tough month to say the least. Hard financially, hard emotionally, hard heart-wise. One of those times where you just *ache* for a move of God. All the same, I've felt God's presence--felt like He was right there despite all appearances. Let me share two "whoa" moments that happened this last week.

1.) It's a thursday night. Storms have knocked out power since about 6pm. My hubby heads off to a movie with the girls. I'm at home with the twins--and candlelight. All the while remembering how easily candles can burn a home down. Things that week have been very hard on me. I'm feeling very much abandoned and forgotten (yeah, I know...that's not true, but it's how I felt and even though I battled those thoughts, they were still there). Anyway, the boys and I are sitting there coloring. I have a box of 72 colored pencils. Can't see worth beans, since it's about 7:30 now and all I have are candles. I'm near the verge of tears, but knowing how much that unsettles the kids, I hold the tears back. I need a gray pencil. Is there even a gray in this box? I tilt the box downward hoping to dump several out. Guess what. Only *one* pencil slides out. A gray one. I look out the open window (we have a porch where it won't get wet if we open the windows on a stormy night), and I know God is there. He knows. He sees my pain. He sees my heartache. The pain lessens a tad.

2.) This week I read Karen Ball's Shattered Justice. I saw the cover at the ACFW Conference in Nashville, but I couldn't afford to buy it. This cover is by far one of my favorites of all time. Something about the image just really clenched my heart. I start her first chapter and I'm riveted, which is really hard to do since I consider myself an "impatient reader." Ya don't grip in the first few pages, I won't read it. Well, Karen's book did that and more. So, I read...and read...and read. And! I found myself getting angrier and angrier and angier. What was happenign to her character Dan Justice (though fiction) mirrors a lot of the pain I've been feeling lately. THEN!!! THEN! Then Karen has this note at the back of the book. I could swear (even though I don't LOL) that God had her pen that *just for me.* I bawl. I know I'm angrier than I realized ever before. I so appreciate her honesty in that note that "I'm not there yet."

That was an epiphany for me. I knew right then that *that* is WHY I want to write. I want to touch a nerve in people, get them to drop their defenses. To clear away the clutter in their lives so they can move into clear, loving fellowship with God.

I'm not 100%. I'm not pain-free...the circumstances are still there, the trials are still going on. But in God, I have hope. And dreams.

So, tell me--WHY DO YOU WRITE? Why do you do what you do?

It was an ordinary day. I left home to pick up the twins from school. Sitting in my car and waiting for the bell to ring, I watched as countless poeple stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, tilted their heads back--hands to their temples to shield their eyes--and stare at the sky. What is this? Chicken Little?

Well, check out what they were staring at:

Okay, this is what happens when your fabulous agent challenges you by calling your previous trailer "predictable" (and of course, he was right!!).

Okay, so I got jealous *grin* of seeing everyone's blurb for their books. LOL And granted, mine's not even contracted yet. But I just couldn't resist designing this. Waddya think???

Okay, okay. I get the point my dearly beloved friends. :-D In the course of a few days, I've been tagged by: Camy Tang, Dineen Miller, Becca Johnson, Cindy Woodsmall, Lisa Harris, and one whom I managed to stave off with a "I know where you live" warning. Hehe. Hey, I'm an espionage writer. Whaddya expect? :-D

Okay, so on to the meme...

1. I was once an asst. music buyer for a national Christian bookstore chain--this job netted me way kewl opportunities during in-stores with greats like Newsboys, Rich Mullins (he really was the kewlest and most down-to-earth celebrity I've ever met--three times!), White Heart, Petra, DC Talk (before they took the sabbatical to do solo albums...and Kevin really is as earthy and serene/intense as he appears), 4 Him, Rebecca St. James...and so on. :-D
2. I want a Maltese dog...ya know, a "foo-foo" dog. LOL It's been my dream for eight years now.
3. My favorite, all-time actress is Audrey Hepburn, which would explain why she covers the walls of my office (from calendar, to framed print, to movie posters...oh and a silk-screened purse (Thanks, Neen!)).
4. I was born in Germany (to American military parents).
5. My mother was born in England and grew up in Ireland, where her family still lives today. I wish I could go "home" to visit my Nana...
6. I love chocolate cake donuts.
7. When life affords the time (yeah, right)I love to cross-stitch. It's been a few years since I tackled a project, but I have a Waterhouse depiction of Guenevere and Lancelot waiting for me.
   
8. I can't write unless I'm wearing headphones and listening to music that sets the mood/tone for the story I'm working on.