This morning I went to take one of my college tests. For me, the drive affords me a thirty-minute reprieve from the chaos of homeschoolnig four children. LOL So, Ishut off the radio and in between my yelling at Texas drivers who are either driving 20 mph or 80mph in the rain, I prayed. Naturally, during the course of this quasi-quiet time, I prayed about my writing. My proctor's assistant had mentioned something again about God's timing...why do they always say that?? Yes. I Know my getting published is in **HIS** timing...but I was wrestling with it. And then I got to wondering why we wrestle. So, I prayed and asked God to...and I cringed right about here...help me embrace this.
Okay, so now I'm wondering, How exactly does one embrace something like this? For me, I'm going to start with realizing that even though this is NOT happening in the order I'd like it to happen--cuz most likely, I'd skip the trials and head straight to the rewards (anyone with me on that?? LOL)--I will focus on the excitment that it IS going to happen. I mean, think about it. You prepare and work and get ready for conferences and seminars...you build your excitment that it's coming, but do you get depressed that it's not here right now? No. You concentrate on the fact that each click (oops...slipped into my space opera there) that passes brings you one closer to the reward.
So that might seem cheesy to some, but it will help me focus on the PROMISE, not the temporal disappointment.
What are you embracing?
I had a breakthrough this week. Well, at least I thought I did. LOL Monday we drove up to Plano (about 45 minutes north east of where we live now) to look at a rental home. It's a pretty home--not GREAT, but would definitely meet our needs...and that's the thing. We NEED to move. HAVE to move--our lease is up soon and the owner of this home wants to sell. SIGH.
Well, I was none too happy about it because there are so many factors to consider...like our homeschool enrichment classes and me commuting twice a week, the boys' speech therapy, Brian if he gets into the FBI (which means another move within the next year). Anyway, on the way there, I was telling my hunky hubby about this breakthrough--how I'd gotten to the place with God's help and grace, that I really truly believed the promise He gave me--that I'd be published. That I could move beyond the despair of rejections (yeah, yeah, I hear you laughing). Really, I do much better with rejections...
Well, doncha know I've been tested beyond belief since then. Wicklow Gang got rejected because we are four unpubbed authors. The publisher said we had an incredible story cooncept, the writing was great...sigh. So, there it is. THEN! I find out that publisher I had been waiting on with another story lost my proposal. That's in addition to the agent that had a similar thing happen last week.
So, you're sitting there wondering what a Screen door on a submarine has to do with all this, right? Well...that's about how I've been feeling in life, in writing, with my friends, with my familiy. You might call it a pity part, but I won't. LOL I seriously feel useless. I keep wondering...what's the point. but I know better than this line of thinking. I really do. Back in the 90's brilliant singer/songwriter Rich Mullins had a song called Screen Door. I had the distinct privilege (Okay, yes--it was a major blast of a job!!) of coordinating concert tickets for a large bookstore chain back then, so I got to meet and hang out with Rich at one of his in-stores. He was truly a very incredible man--if he could've just learned to Buckle up! Anyway, the chorus went something like this:
It's about as useless as
A screen door on a submarine
Faith without works babe
It just ain't happenin'
One is your left hand
One is your right
It'll take two strong arms
To hold on tight
Two strong arms....to hold on tight. Tight to what? Faith? God? YES.
Brandilyn Collins, notorious expert of writing thrilling/chilling suspense books, let my crit bud Dineen Miller into her creepy little world. LOL Seriously...it's a great interview. You should check it out.
Robin Miller is interviewing agents who have expressed an interest in representing clients who write for the inspirational market. Run over to Robin' s blog and see what's happening in her world.
Well, it's been a dull week here...a strange head flu has boggled my brain and left me for dead. I'm on the mend, but I'm also trying to catch up on college work and crits.
In my Bible study today, there was one of those lines that grips you by the back of your collar and dumps you on your deriere (however you spell that LOL). It said "Fear causes you to question what God has clearly told you to do." (Experiencing God by David Blackaby). I sat back and suddenly realized how many times I started second-guessing. 'What if God didn't tell me to send it to that agent?" "What if God said to send it to X-Y-Z and I didn't--have I screwed up His will for my life???" Well, I think I'm giving myself too much credit--after all, as long as I'm actively working to seek God and His will, then He's going to guide me and protect me--even from my own stupidity. *grins* Can you tell I have a bit of experience with that? LOL
Anyway...I'm still not 100% from this head flu, so I won' t bore y'all with my rambling drivel--THIS TIME. bwahahahahaha
Oh--I did get one more proposal for my space opera, Brand & Band, emailed off and will be mailing another in the next day or so. Robin asked me if I have my Genesis entry ready...um, yeah...about that...
What are y'all doing?
See ya on the flip side...