It's been a tough month to say the least. Hard financially, hard emotionally, hard heart-wise. One of those times where you just *ache* for a move of God. All the same, I've felt God's presence--felt like He was right there despite all appearances. Let me share two "whoa" moments that happened this last week.
1.) It's a thursday night. Storms have knocked out power since about 6pm. My hubby heads off to a movie with the girls. I'm at home with the twins--and candlelight. All the while remembering how easily candles can burn a home down. Things that week have been very hard on me. I'm feeling very much abandoned and forgotten (yeah, I know...that's not true, but it's how I felt and even though I battled those thoughts, they were still there). Anyway, the boys and I are sitting there coloring. I have a box of 72 colored pencils. Can't see worth beans, since it's about 7:30 now and all I have are candles. I'm near the verge of tears, but knowing how much that unsettles the kids, I hold the tears back. I need a gray pencil. Is there even a gray in this box? I tilt the box downward hoping to dump several out. Guess what. Only *one* pencil slides out. A gray one. I look out the open window (we have a porch where it won't get wet if we open the windows on a stormy night), and I know God is there. He knows. He sees my pain. He sees my heartache. The pain lessens a tad.
2.) This week I read Karen Ball's Shattered Justice. I saw the cover at the ACFW Conference in Nashville, but I couldn't afford to buy it. This cover is by far one of my favorites of all time. Something about the image just really clenched my heart. I start her first chapter and I'm riveted, which is really hard to do since I consider myself an "impatient reader." Ya don't grip in the first few pages, I won't read it. Well, Karen's book did that and more. So, I read...and read...and read. And! I found myself getting angrier and angrier and angier. What was happenign to her character Dan Justice (though fiction) mirrors a lot of the pain I've been feeling lately. THEN!!! THEN! Then Karen has this note at the back of the book. I could swear (even though I don't LOL) that God had her pen that *just for me.* I bawl. I know I'm angrier than I realized ever before. I so appreciate her honesty in that note that "I'm not there yet."
That was an epiphany for me. I knew right then that *that* is WHY I want to write. I want to touch a nerve in people, get them to drop their defenses. To clear away the clutter in their lives so they can move into clear, loving fellowship with God.
I'm not 100%. I'm not pain-free...the circumstances are still there, the trials are still going on. But in God, I have hope. And dreams.
So, tell me--WHY DO YOU WRITE? Why do you do what you do?
It was an ordinary day. I left home to pick up the twins from school. Sitting in my car and waiting for the bell to ring, I watched as countless poeple stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, tilted their heads back--hands to their temples to shield their eyes--and stare at the sky. What is this? Chicken Little?
Well, check out what they were staring at:
Okay, this is what happens when your fabulous agent challenges you by calling your previous trailer "predictable" (and of course, he was right!!).
Okay, so I got jealous *grin* of seeing everyone's blurb for their books. LOL And granted, mine's not even contracted yet. But I just couldn't resist designing this. Waddya think???
Okay, okay. I get the point my dearly beloved friends. :-D In the course of a few days, I've been tagged by: Camy Tang, Dineen Miller, Becca Johnson, Cindy Woodsmall, Lisa Harris, and one whom I managed to stave off with a "I know where you live" warning. Hehe. Hey, I'm an espionage writer. Whaddya expect? :-D
Okay, so on to the meme...
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog
about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight
people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them
they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
- I was once an asst. music buyer for a national Christian bookstore chain--this job netted me way kewl opportunities during in-stores with greats like Newsboys, Rich Mullins (he really was the kewlest and most down-to-earth celebrity I've ever met--three times!), White Heart, Petra, DC Talk (before they took the sabbatical to do solo albums...and Kevin really is as earthy and serene/intense as he appears), 4 Him, Rebecca St. James...and so on. :-D
- I want a Maltese dog...ya know, a "foo-foo" dog. LOL It's been my dream for eight years now.
- My favorite, all-time actress is Audrey Hepburn, which would explain why she covers the walls of my office (from calendar, to framed print, to movie posters...oh and a silk-screened purse (Thanks, Neen!)).
- I was born in Germany (to American military parents).
- My mother was born in England and grew up in Ireland, where her family still lives today. I wish I could go "home" to visit my Nana...
- I love chocolate cake donuts.
- When life affords the time (yeah, right)I love to cross-stitch. It's been a few years since I tackled a project, but I have a Waterhouse depiction of Guenevere and Lancelot waiting for me.
- I can't write unless I'm wearing headphones and listening to music that sets the mood/tone for the story I'm working on.