Who besides me cringes when they hear, "It's all in God's timing." Well, I used to cringe BIG time--cuz God's timing felt light years away. And don' t get me wrong--I still flinch when I hear that sometimes, but now...now...WOW! I am so excited to see what is going to come of all the little nuggets God has been planting in my life. He's stripped me bare of superficial and external affirmations, both things I had made the mistake of allowing to carry me through, from one to the next. God has made it plain that ONLY HIM is where I need to get what I need for each day. And you know, I can honestly say I've grown LEAPS in the last two months in that area. It's such a beautiful place. Yeah, I have moments, but God's right there for me. I'm so at peace. No, no, there aren't any promises of publication or agenting looming on the horizon that now enable me to "suddenly" have hope. Nope. I know what God has said to me, and that's it. I cried out the other night to him and said, I want to have hope. And as steady and fast as a heartbeat, he said "I am your hope." Then I realized the words filtering through my headphones was Kutless' "I Lift My Eyes Up":
I marveled right then at GOD'S TIMING. I even asked a friend, How DOES He do that!!??!! It was a small event, but it spoke to me--a little moment where I was feeling down, and He was RIGHT THERE. He spoke to me, then confrimed it to me in a song that was already playing through my headphones. Coinkydink?? I think not!
My family is in transition. Chaotic, mind-wrending transition. Brian has passed phase II of testing out for the FBI. Now, we're in the "processing" stage--polygraph, doctor's physical, physical fitness test, and...spousal interview. I know. I can hear you, now. Oh, there goes that. LOL I can't tell you how many times I've thought it myself. *grins* If God makes the way for this to happen for my husband, then it means...more change.
I know I've said it before, but God wasn't kidding about this being a year of change. My family will move yet again--possibly twice in the next six months. At first, I dug my heels in, shaking my head saying, "God, you forgot--this chick doesn't do change." I'm sure he would've blasted an IM to me saying, "ROTFL." (He does have an uncanny sense of humor, does he not? Just look in the mirror. :-D ) But then He showed me that I was focusing on the negative, on teh things I didn't like rather than rejoicing that His will was being effected in my life--that I should be experiencing JOY in what He was DOING. **OUCH** Did I correct my ways? Oh, you betcha. Real quick, I might add. I greived that I'd lost sight of what I'd been praying for these past four years.
The last two weeks, I've been pretty good. Sure, there are days when this oppressive voice assaults...why are you writing? you're getting nowhere! what's the point? give up...and almost simultaneously, God bathes me in his TRUTH. He called me. He gave me the story. Who am I to argue?
Then really kewl things happen--like someone emailing me and asking to read my space opera. (where's the gaping-mouth emoticon from yahoo when you need it??). This person read it and LOVED Brand & Bound. Of course, with the...ahem...mildly tragic ending, they did call me a gigantic loser and nearly put me into a coronary. and while I don't have an editor or agent knocking down my door (YET!), it's been so kewl to have so many people e-mailing ME asking ME to read this book that isn't even published yet. WOW! (Okay, thanks for letting me brag. LOL)
Things are working out very interestingly for my last two semesters of college. This summer, I'll be taking Abnormal Psychology (hehehe...just wait Robin & Camy...LOL) and Creation Studies. Those two classes will be a typical 16-week courses. No worries there. Then, in the fall-and this is SUCH an answer to prayer--I'll be taking Physiological Psychology and Criminology, both as 8-week/fast-track courses. The kewl thing is that I won't have to take them simultaneously. I'll take one and finish it, then start the other one. By taking them this way, my last semester, I will be able to concentrate on one class at a time, which will most likely also be the time I'll be winging it as a single mom while hunky hubby is off in Quantico learning how to nail the bad guys (yeah, yeah, Robin, I know...).
So, how's that for Ronie's ramblings this time? Nothing spectacular except the incredible love of an amazing God.
I'm doing really well, cradled safe in the arms of a very loving God. What are y'all up to? Please drop me a note--I really love hearing from y'all!