Who besides me cringes when they hear, "It's all in God's timing." Well, I used to cringe BIG time--cuz God's timing felt light years away. And don' t get me wrong--I still flinch when I hear that sometimes, but now...now...WOW! I am so excited to see what is going to come of all the little nuggets God has been planting in my life. He's stripped me bare of superficial and external affirmations, both things I had made the mistake of allowing to carry me through, from one to the next. God has made it plain that ONLY HIM is where I need to get what I need for each day. And you know, I can honestly say I've grown LEAPS in the last two months in that area. It's such a beautiful place. Yeah, I have moments, but God's right there for me. I'm so at peace. No, no, there aren't any promises of publication or agenting looming on the horizon that now enable me to "suddenly" have hope. Nope. I know what God has said to me, and that's it. I cried out the other night to him and said, I want to have hope. And as steady and fast as a heartbeat, he said "I am your hope." Then I realized the words filtering through my headphones was Kutless' "I Lift My Eyes Up":
I marveled right then at GOD'S TIMING. I even asked a friend, How DOES He do that!!??!! It was a small event, but it spoke to me--a little moment where I was feeling down, and He was RIGHT THERE. He spoke to me, then confrimed it to me in a song that was already playing through my headphones. Coinkydink?? I think not!
My family is in transition. Chaotic, mind-wrending transition. Brian has passed phase II of testing out for the FBI. Now, we're in the "processing" stage--polygraph, doctor's physical, physical fitness test, and...spousal interview. I know. I can hear you, now. Oh, there goes that. LOL I can't tell you how many times I've thought it myself. *grins* If God makes the way for this to happen for my husband, then it means...more change.
I know I've said it before, but God wasn't kidding about this being a year of change. My family will move yet again--possibly twice in the next six months. At first, I dug my heels in, shaking my head saying, "God, you forgot--this chick doesn't do change." I'm sure he would've blasted an IM to me saying, "ROTFL." (He does have an uncanny sense of humor, does he not? Just look in the mirror. :-D ) But then He showed me that I was focusing on the negative, on teh things I didn't like rather than rejoicing that His will was being effected in my life--that I should be experiencing JOY in what He was DOING. **OUCH** Did I correct my ways? Oh, you betcha. Real quick, I might add. I greived that I'd lost sight of what I'd been praying for these past four years.
The last two weeks, I've been pretty good. Sure, there are days when this oppressive voice assaults...why are you writing? you're getting nowhere! what's the point? give up...and almost simultaneously, God bathes me in his TRUTH. He called me. He gave me the story. Who am I to argue?
Then really kewl things happen--like someone emailing me and asking to read my space opera. (where's the gaping-mouth emoticon from yahoo when you need it??). This person read it and LOVED Brand & Bound. Of course, with the...ahem...mildly tragic ending, they did call me a gigantic loser and nearly put me into a coronary. and while I don't have an editor or agent knocking down my door (YET!), it's been so kewl to have so many people e-mailing ME asking ME to read this book that isn't even published yet. WOW! (Okay, thanks for letting me brag. LOL)
Things are working out very interestingly for my last two semesters of college. This summer, I'll be taking Abnormal Psychology (hehehe...just wait Robin & Camy...LOL) and Creation Studies. Those two classes will be a typical 16-week courses. No worries there. Then, in the fall-and this is SUCH an answer to prayer--I'll be taking Physiological Psychology and Criminology, both as 8-week/fast-track courses. The kewl thing is that I won't have to take them simultaneously. I'll take one and finish it, then start the other one. By taking them this way, my last semester, I will be able to concentrate on one class at a time, which will most likely also be the time I'll be winging it as a single mom while hunky hubby is off in Quantico learning how to nail the bad guys (yeah, yeah, Robin, I know...).
So, how's that for Ronie's ramblings this time? Nothing spectacular except the incredible love of an amazing God.
I'm doing really well, cradled safe in the arms of a very loving God. What are y'all up to? Please drop me a note--I really love hearing from y'all!
hey chickie, nice to see you blog. :-)
Doncha just love how God does that?? It's really cool all the things the Lord is doing in all of us lately.
\o/ \o/ \o/ Awesome, Ronie! Totally awesome!!!!
(in my best "Excellent Adventure" voice, of course!)
What an amazing thing to soar on the wind of God's love and provision!
We followed a friend through her phases for entrance to the FBI academy last year--yeah, the spousal interview. HAH. And learning Arabic. (She went in with a goal to help with counter-terrorism.)Whatgave her the hardest time was the fit tests. That girl was running and doing work with a personal trainer to prep, and she still struggled. But she persisted and she made it. She just graduated last month. It was tough, and her hubby left a lucrative law firm position to follow her to her assigned city, where he's now planning to apply for the FBI himself. His wife's passion and trials inspired him.
They're heroes to me now.
It gives me great confidence in the future of the agency when these two great, brilliant, patriotic, good-hearted folks go to be part of it. And your hubby i son his way.
I really think this is GREAT.
God bless your hubby and you and your family!
I witnessed how hard it was for my friend and her hubby and her dad (who opposed her going into the FBI, which caused friction)--but I see how brimming with joy she is now at doing this important job for her country.
I hope you're all showered with every great thing--joy and peace and patience and strength. . .
Mir
Hey girl! I finally checked my blog list again. LOL!
God is amazing. Frustrating, painful at times, but definitely amazing. Everything he does seems to fit together like a well planned novel. Every bit of his plan has purposed that far reaches the moment. He's the original author! How cool is that?
Abnormal psych? Remember, I majored in psychology (and actually, I'm heartily glad of it now because I'm actually using some of that in my writing), so I saw all that cool weird kooky stuff. Have a ball.
Camy
Hey, Ronie, it was soooo good to see this blog entry. Not because it's been a while, but because of what you said. Waiting on God's timing is part of being totally abandoned to him and his purposes. I've been learning some that in a different way the last few months.
I also got a bit of a course correction in my own writing. (Finally!) I might write it up some time when I'm not writing all sorts of other things.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful post about God's timing being perfect in all our lives. Sometimes we think we're the only ones struggling with God's plan and the necessary changes in our lives. Thanks for letting us into your life as you live this out! You're a blessing, friend!