(photo by & with permission of Donald M. Jones)
Ever feel like you're missing the obvious? When I saw the picture above, I laughed at the hunter staring off into the wilderness, his quarry right over his shoulder...but then it hit me. That's exactly how I've been looking at my journey to publication. So focused and intent on getting a contract, I might have missed what God is doing right here, right now--as a prepubbed author...and the blessings that are happening all around me.
A couple of weeks ago, it dawned on me that I was praying as if God was just sitting up there sipping latte, bored by my little drama acting out down here on this spinning orb. Then I realized, God is active . Even when I can't see His work, can't feel His presence, or hear Him, I know He's there...ACTIVELY preparing me. Sometimes I get upset, thinking my life/writing isn't going anywhere...feeling like there's no point. Even amid blessings, sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture. Think about that hunter up there, his rear-end probably frozen to the ground, his legs most likely numb, and he's staring down two very narrow lenses...
Well, this past weekend I won the ACFW Weekend Word count challenge with a tally of 13k. Yes, I was very happy (I'd been wanting Tracey's book--and I had to win 1st place to get it!) . With that count, I'm getting my prize, and I finished with my space opera!! My devoted readers (*waving to Heather & Shannon*) read the last chapters...and oh, my! Were they upset. LOL Long story short: tragic ending that was true to the characters and story. While they were sad for my characters, they both agreed it HAD to happen that way. Poor Marco. :-/ Of course, since the Kynigos story was done, I then suffered the PPD - post-prepubbedending-blues.
And that is exactly what happened. Unpublished, rough, and complete with tragic ending...the story is already touching hearts. For me, that's pure gold! That's what it's all about. Silly me. I thought God had me on HOLD. The whole time, a beautiful melody was playing out across my keyboard. Even under my very nose--on a story that I started writing JUST FOR ME (I know, I'm selfish that way.), God moved in an amazing way. I realized I need to be blinded by the obvious...IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. God didn't give this writing gift to me FOR me. He gave it to me, FOR others (okay, yes...sure, I get blessed as well, there's no doubt about it). And no, I'm not being holier-than-thou...this is my heart's cry: for God to use me to minister His healing love in the lives of others.
OH...and good news. I'm in the process of contacting SF/F authors to interview them. So far, two have agreed. Kathy Tyers won't be able to...she's going to GRAD school. WOW! She's always been my hero--but double wow! What a woman to tackle that!! You can visit her site: http://www.kathytyers.com